Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"When you've achieved the impressive feat of disappointing better people, it's almost like winning a not-so-desirable award 🏆💁‍♂️ Keep reaching for new lows!"

better, disappointment, expectations, humor, people, self-deprecation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

2 months ago

awkwardness, being, brand, dance, effort, fun, guest, humor, personal, social, wedding
Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

2 months ago

13th, asked, call, conference, conference call, conversation, conversation starter, experience, Friday, Friday the 13th, hockey, hockey mask, humor, mask, spooky, starter, unique, unique experience, workplace
Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

5 months ago

blocking, criminal, enough, humor, i, insult, medieval, throw, tomato
No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

2 months ago

401k, adulting, fear, financial, financial planning, fright, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, just, planning, year
If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

2 months ago

bf, dating, gf, humor, i, ID, irony, relationship
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

2 months ago

age, back, comedy, foolishness, humor, idiot, maturity, realize, reflection, self, self-awareness, self-deprecating, still, younger

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Elevator rides in real life: 30 seconds long. Elevator rides in movies: Two minutes long.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

39 shares on Threads this month:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

90 shares on Instagram this month:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

18 shares on Slack this month:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Your opinions are not my business.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

At the end of the day, the day is going to end.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Being late to work should never be that serious. At least I came?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’ve disappointed better people.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Be the one that gets asked to remove the hockey mask, during a conference call, on Friday the 13th.

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨