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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Stop telling everyone I’m posting from earth. People don’t need to know where I live.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Cats must think we’re so weird for constantly harvesting their poop.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

You should never donate to people that collect money for marathons. They just take your money and run.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,593

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Going viral on WeChat:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Going viral on X:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Trending via Pinterest:

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

Spotted on Telegram:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

Seen just now on YouTube:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

2 months ago

0

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Spotted: a double dose of doppelgangers causing a commotion in public! Looks like the rumor about 'twin-cest' is real… 🙈 Double the trouble, double the fun! Just don't start finishing each other's sentences, or we might need to call in the doppel-police! 🚔 #Twinsanity"

disrespect, humor, identical, just, keep, lifestyle, private, public, saw, together, twins

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

0

2 months ago

activity, adult, adult life, ask, childhood, even, fast, friends, fun, fun activity, growing, growing up, life, new, new sh, nostalgia, run, running, sh, sucks
Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

0

2 months ago

again, back, beauty, confidence, faith, fine, high, high school, humor, i, justice, lose, nostalgia, reflection, school, today, whenever
I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

0

2 months ago

around, day, feel, feeling, going, humor, i, life, me, procrastination, seize, struggle
Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

0

2 months ago

cooking, cry, dinner, food, hack, humor, just, life, life hack, need, salt, tears
Group projects taught me how to do everything alone and trust no one.

0

2 months ago

alone, collaboration, everything, frustration, group, group project, humor, independence, learning, me, project, solo, taught, teamwork, trust
If she wants the moon, you get her the moon.

0

5 months ago

desire, gift, humor, moon, relationship, romantic, wants

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

64 shares on Discord this month:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

41 shares on Threads this month:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

45 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

18 shares on Discord this month:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m having a garage sale and hope people I’ve borrowed things from don’t come.

81 shares on Threads this month:

What’s your favorite song about a white boy playing funky music?

86 shares on X this month:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

38 shares on Slack this month:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

How do I tell someone respectfully to die in a fire?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I can’t stand people who require so much validation. Please like and share this if you agree.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m not good at solving Pi, but I’m really good at eating it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Being too stressed isn’t good for the baby. I’m not pregnant though, it’s just that I’m the baby.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I can relate to God because it also takes me a full week to finish something that still kind of sucks.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has shared:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I’m 6 donuts away from being the elephant in the room.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just took off my daytime sweatpants and put on my nighttime sweatpants.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Teens are like, “My homework isn’t done, but check out this presentation I made on why I need Instagram.”

Going viral on WeChat:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Going viral on YouTube:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Going viral on YouTube:

Europeans read a lot because their television shows suck.

Just landed via Facebook:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

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