Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Pleasing everyone, that’s impossible. Making everyone angry, piece of cake!

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Accidentally falling asleep is always the best sleep — and that’s so irritating.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Careful, “friend”. One more word about Shakira and you might find out just how fast I can draw this blade.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

I don’t know why hair extensions are exclusive to women, I want to look like a centaur.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,403

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Spotted on X:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Nobody shoots annoying people into the sun anymore and that’s why there are so many of them left on earth.

Live now on Reddit:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’ve never been cut in half by a magician, but I have worn jeans on Thanksgiving. Same thing.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You may find my attraction to Goofy weird, but I don’t give a hyuck.

Spotted on Slack:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Just landed via Instagram:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Just shared via Twitch:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Life is like a stunning fireworks display, guaranteed to leave you in awe… And maybe a little tipsy! 🎆🍸"

beautiful, fun, humor, irony, just, laughter, life, sober

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

2 months ago

activity, cancel, ever, girl, humor, i, introvert, little, plans, social, wanted
My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

4 months ago

early, early morning, favorite, favorite thing, favourite, morning, morning routine, ridiculous, routine, sleep, solitude, thing, waking, waking up
It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

1 week ago

change, communication, free, Funny, got, humor, irony, language, technology, translation, universal, world
Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

2 months ago

busy, busy life, exhaustion, girl, hard, humor, life, sleepy, sleepy girl, struggle
Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

3 weeks ago

attitude, born, forced, hater, humor, irony, perspective, understand, understanding
You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

2 months ago

aging, anger, car, frustration, getting, getting old, house, humor, know, mad, neighborhood, old, outside, parked, parking, random

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

55 shares on Instagram this month:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

86 shares on X this month:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

61 shares on X this month:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

47 shares on Threads this month:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

50 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

You don’t use a semicolons correctly; you use a semicolon confidently.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

When I tell a joke that doesn’t land, I follow up with a worse one to make my audience realize how good they had it with the first joke.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

That pile of clothes on my bed, seems to have strange powers and gets higher on its own.

Making waves on Facebook:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Going viral on Threads:

“I’m not ordering fries, I’ll just eat some of yours!” -Former friends of mine

Making waves on Twitch:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Seen just now on Threads:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Going viral on Facebook:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

Seen just now on Threads:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Born to be a hater, forced to understand your perspective.

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨