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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Microplastics are a waste of time. I go straight to eating whole packaging.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Them: “Ugh, could you be more annoying?” Me: “Oh God, yes!”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Do you think birds, once they get older, start people-watching?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Making waves on Slack:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Just landed via Discord:

The cool thing about Twitter is you’re never the craziest one.

Making waves on Reddit:

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles.

Trending via Instagram:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Making waves on Threads:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Just landed via Reddit:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If I was a mythical creature, I’d be a Sighclops.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I bought all this healthy food at the grocery store today and now I’m trying to decide if I want Chinese food or pizza delivered for dinner tonight.

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

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Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like we've got a savory twist on the classic love triangle! 🧀🔺 Who needs drama when you can have a snack instead? 😉 #DoritoLoveTriangle

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Discord this month:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

36 shares on Twitch this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

54 shares on X this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

13 shares on Discord this month:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I am listening to Pharrell Williams’ smash hit song “Happy,” and understanding for the first time that it was truly intended to distress.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There are drug-sniffing dogs, guide dogs, dogs that save lives. And then there’s my dog, who hits the lead when he poops.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Zelda was easier as a kid because if you hit a hard puzzle, you could just wait a few days for more brain matter to come in, but now it’s the opposite.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up to people is a scam. Don’t do it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,233

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

I can resist everything except temptation.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

I’d rather you don’t watch me while I’m liking my own post.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

It’s amazing how music can transport you to another place. For example, this coffee shop is playing Justin Bieber, so I’m going to another restaurant.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

At the end of the day, it’s just me and me.

Just shared via TikTok:

Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Just shared via Messenger:

If the Christians published the Kama Sutra, it would have been one page long.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

Spotted on Slack:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Next time I die, I’m going to make sure I’m reincarnated someplace other than Earth.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Trending via YouTube:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

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