Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Keep your fries close and your onion rings closer.
  • As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.
  • I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.
  • No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.
  • Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.
  • A good man is hard to find, but a babysitter for Friday night is harder.