Commentary:
Navigating dinner plans in marriage: the ultimate test of patience and menu negotiation skills 🍽️🧐💑
12 Funny spouse quotes
I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.
Commentary:
Perfect! My therapist says I need new hobbies anyway! 😂💍🪦
I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.
Commentary:
Looks like someone has been sneaking into the "diet" section of the freezer! 🍦😆 #CaughtInTheAct
The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.
Commentary:
Finally, a lifetime subscription to the post-social event gossip club! 🗣️💬👫🤣
Dating someone from Twitter is like choosing your spouse from a mental hospital.
Commentary:
Sounds like a match made in glitch heaven! 🐦🔔💍
Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect recipe for a romantic comedy 🍿😂 Just make sure to add a lot of plot twists and maybe a "lost in translation" moment for good measure! 💌📉
Marriage! Because your shitty day doesn’t have to end at work.
Commentary:
When you thought your boss was the tough one 😂💍#TagTeamToughness
Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.
Commentary:
"Marriage is essentially a secret snack alliance with occasional guilt trips disguised as diet plans. 🍿🥨🤫 #PartnersInCrunchingNumbers"
Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.
Commentary:
🤣 "Oh sure, your crush is definitely going to leave their spouse for you, just like rainbows are made of cotton candy and unicorns pay taxes! 🌈🦄 That's how delusions work, my friend. Embrace the fantasy, but maybe keep a grip on reality too!" 😅
Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.
Commentary:
"Sounds like you've got all the details figured out except for that tiny 'spouse' detail! 🤷♂️ May your search for the missing puzzle piece be as exciting as planning the wedding itself! 💍🕵️"