Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

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“I’m going to try underthinking about a situation, and see if that works.”

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Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

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My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

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They said don’t try this at home, so I’m coming over to your place.

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I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

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You hit a couple of curbs, take out a trash can and all of a sudden it’s “you can’t drive”.

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“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

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Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

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I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.