Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

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Breaking News: Jenny on Facebook is having salad for dinner tonight.

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It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

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I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

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Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

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I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

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When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

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“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

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Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

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I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

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Roses are red. I’m going to bed.