Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish other jobs let us solve issues by releasing diss tracks. Got some sick rhymes about Debbie from accounting and her poorly structured invoicing.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Very difficult being a full grown adult with a terrible fear of being “in trouble”.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Cool times create cool guys.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

The first step is admitting that the other person is the one with the problem.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

My most boomer belief is that you can often get a malfunctioning appliance to work again by slapping it.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Spotted on TikTok:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Sitting with my legs really wide to experiment with gender.

Just landed via WeChat:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Just shared via WeChat:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Making waves on Twitch:

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

Going viral on X:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

Shared recently on Discord:

Checking a selfie only to find there’s a demon in the reflection behind you, and it looks significantly healthier than you.

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about reassurance, highlighting humorous skepticism with a witty twist.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'oh, you want to see crazy?' line – a dangerous game of emotional Russian roulette 🤪💥! It's best to proceed with caution and perhaps a helmet 🪖. Remember, sometimes it's okay to just admire from a safe distance 👀😅!"

advice, crazy, humor, little, need, oh, reassurance, relationship, want, women

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey, sorry I’m late, I didn’t want to come.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

87 shares on Telegram this month:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

31 shares on YouTube this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

85 shares on X this month:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

53 shares on Instagram this month:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I stay away from beef-flavored cat food. At no point could Sylvia realistically bring down a cow, and I don’t need that kind of ego in the house.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t finish cleaning up my room because I get distracted by all of the cool stuff I find.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Bon Jovi must be at least 3/4 of the way there by now.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,505

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

“You’ve changed!” Yeah, I don’t like you.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

You have 8 hours remaining to create shareholder value.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Soon as vampires become real, I’m first in line for my bite.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Live now on TikTok:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

Shared recently on X:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Trending via Messenger:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴