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Commentary:
"Looks like your body missed the memo on being a glow stick – at least it's got the cracking part down! 🔥💥 Maybe it just needs a better manual? Or some extra batteries…⚡😂"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

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2 months ago

feeling, honesty, humor, ok, question, response, sarcasm
My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

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2 months ago

convenience, eating, eating out, favorite, food, humor, i, order, phone, pick, recipe, where
The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

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2 months ago

healthcare, humor, irony, job, money, paramedic, paycheck, profession, seen, thing, workplace, worst
I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

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2 months ago

humor, i, me, nature, next, personification, thinking, thunderstorm, too, weather, wonder
Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

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2 months ago

disappointment, gift, giving, humor, keeps, land, magic, magical, Monday, procrastination, sarcasm, workweek
Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

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2 months ago

activity, ask, ball, bowling, bowling ball, fun, fun activity, gift, gift idea, girlfriend, give, humor, idea, personalized, personalized gift, relationship, ring, ring size, size, surprise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Discord this month:

Why would a needle be in a haystack, anyway?

88 shares on Reddit this month:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

18 shares on TikTok this month:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

62 shares on Instagram this month:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

87 shares on X this month:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

28 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

There’s no sadder tableau in all of humanity than the smoker’s terrarium at the airport.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Whoever salts the fries at McDonald’s needs to come do the roads.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Just landed via TikTok:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

Trending via TikTok:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My husband loves when we fight, and I turn it into a limited series called And Another Thing.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m actually breaking generational curses by surviving my 20s without marrying a man who hates me.

Going viral on WeChat:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Trending via Twitch:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Spotted on Pinterest:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Spotted on Instagram:

How can I be ready for the future when I’m not even ready to get up in the morning?

Breaking via Telegram:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨