Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like your body missed the memo on being a glow stick – at least it's got the cracking part down! 🔥💥 Maybe it just needs a better manual? Or some extra batteries…⚡😂"

aging, body, cracks, every, fitness, glow, glow stick, humor, i, light, move, noise, pain, stick, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

0

2 months ago

bathroom, humor, i, kids, mess, mirror, nice, over, shame, toothpaste
So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

0

2 months ago

annoying, awkward, baking, bathroom, cake, doing, door, family, funny situation, humor, joking, privacy, situation, toilet
Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

0

5 months ago

couple, enjoy, fun, i, interaction, opinion, social, social interaction, third, third wheel, unpopular, unpopular opinion, wheel
Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

0

2 months ago

actually, efficiency, efficiency tips, humor, laziness, morning, relaxation, rituals, self-care, sleeping, tips
I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

0

2 months ago

9pm, activity, flow, gal, humor, night, parallel, parking, preference, spontaneity
What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

0

2 months ago

again, believe, conversation, day, dog, going, humor, just, never, nobody, pet, randomness, surprise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Discord this month:

Haunted Houses this year are just gonna have the news on.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What many call beauty can just be wiped off 90% of the time.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

48 shares on Discord this month:

One night stands just make more sense for single people. Why would you need a night stand on both sides of the bed?

98 shares on Slack this month:

When the gun shoots your brain, that’s amore.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Once I get my UFO, don’t be asking me for rides.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

My ability to remember song lyrics from the ’90s far exceeds my ability to remember why I walked into the garage.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has shared:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

You can pronounce it “Nude Jersey” and no one will know.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Facebook:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Making waves on Discord:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Going viral on Threads:

It’s a fabulous time to be alive if you love: verification codes, verifying your email, yelling ‘REAL PERSON’ into a phone at a robot, reading nightmarish news all day, every day, hot.

Just shared via Messenger:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Making waves on Discord:

Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Ears are great for tucking your hair behind in the wind. Big shout out to ears.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Spotted on Threads:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Trending via WeChat:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Kids be like: “Nice bathroom mirror. It would be a shame if I spat toothpaste all over it.”

So annoying when your family knocks on the toilet door and asks what you’re doing. I’m baking a cake. HBU?

Unpopular opinion: I do enjoy third-wheeling if the couple is fun.

Sleeping in is the most efficient way to find out which morning rituals you can actually do without.

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨