My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

Need to clean the fridge, so I’m going to do the responsible thing and drink wine instead.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.