Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

What’s wrong, babe? You hardly touched your own advice you give to others.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I wish people had mute buttons in real life.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Bottle of Worcestershire sauce tipped over in my fridge. The mess is unpronounceable.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

The younger generation will never know the fear and anxiety of calling your friend’s house, and their parents answer the phone.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

525 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,118

Funny Quotes Topics

17,266

Funny Quotes Images

15,118

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,659

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Don’t listen to any thoughts about yourself if your hair isn’t washed. It’s just not true.

Shared recently on X:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Breaking via Reddit:

Sorry, can’t. Waiting for my clothes to come back into style again.

Broadcasted on Discord:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

Just shared via Reddit:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

Just landed via Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Just landed via TikTok:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Going viral on Messenger:

Some days you have breakfast for dinner and live life on your own terms.

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"My handwriting is so illegible, even doctors would struggle to decipher it! 📜🔍 #ChickenScratchMasterpiece"

calligrapher, comparison, handwriting, humor, pharmacist, writing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

0

2 months ago

hairline, humor, idea, men, receding, spider, spider web, tattoo, web
On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

0

2 months ago

bikini, body, body image, cake, choice, dilemma, hand, humor, ID, image, indulgence, love, sexy
Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

0

2 months ago

again, britney, Britney Spears, celebrity, cream, culture, funny job, humor, i, ice, ice cream, ice-cream shop, job, pop, pop culture, pun, Scoops, shop, spears, working
My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

0

3 weeks ago

automatic, call, humor, just, messaging, sound, stomach, system, voice, voice messaging system
Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

0

2 weeks ago

active, babe, before, change, chat, conversation, group, group chat, humor, joke, media, relationship, right, social, social media, sorry, texting, timing, trying
After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

0

2 months ago

away, awkwardness, celebrity, distance, feet, frame, getting, humor, jude, Jude Law, law, letter, letters, love, love letter, me, noticed, response, romance, something, staying

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Reddit this month:

You should always wash your sheets once a week in case they are really ghosts and need a shower.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

If you’re curious what the priciest item in a store is just bring a kid along because they’ll definitely find then break it.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

75 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

37 shares on X this month:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

53 shares on Snapchat this month:

“Please feel free to ignore this email!” Way ahead of you, buddy.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Making waves on Telegram:

Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

Just landed via Messenger:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Trending via Reddit:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Making waves on Twitch:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Seen just now on X:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

In banana years, I am bread.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

Britney Spears working at an ice-cream shop called ‘Scoops, I did it again.’

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨