Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Thursday is really unnecessary. Today could’ve been Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down. You’re almost there.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I like my Jims slim and my chances fat.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,933

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Spotted on Telegram:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Just shared via Messenger:

Don’t fall in love. It’s bad.

Live now on Discord:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

2 months ago

0

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Today marks the start of my youngest's academic journey! 📚🎒 I shed a tear (or two) as he embarked on his kindergarten adventure, but let's be real – I cried mostly for his teachers who now have to deal with his boundless energy and endless questions! 🤣🍎✏️ #TeacherAppreciation"

childhood, cry, day, emotion, first day, i, kindergarten, parenting, school, teacher, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Tolerate the lactose already, you heathen.

0

2 months ago

dairy, food, heathen, humor, intolerance, lactose, tolerate
Pinterest is so therapeutic. There’s no drama, no one to argue with. Just pretty pictures.

0

1 month ago

activity, argue, argument, creativity, drama, fun, fun activity, just, pictures, Pinterest, pretty, relaxation, therapy
I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

0

1 month ago

after, awkwardness, communication, funny thought, hell, humor, i, interaction, me, people, self-reflection, social, social interaction, talking, think, thought, wonder
Need a professional way to say, “I do not care, don’t mention this to me again.”

0

4 days ago

again, care, communication, dismissal, humor, i, indifference, me, mention, need, phrase, professional, professional phrase, sarcasm, say
Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

0

2 months ago

40s, aging, camera, changes, eyes, focus, humor, know, life, life changes, perception, someone, welcome
Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

0

2 months ago

daisy, feelings, grumpy, humor, mood, poetry, red, roses, roses are red, tight, too, underwear, white

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on YouTube this month:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I love sleeping. You don’t spend any money and you don’t miss anyone.

76 shares on X this month:

There’s something so romantic about getting McDonald’s with a lover. Intimate perhaps.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

This tape doesn’t even taste like scotch.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

I never argue, I just explain why I’m right.

59 shares on Messenger this month:

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The first 120 hours after the weekend are always the worst.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Flirting back when you’re bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re at the age where both 1990 and 2003 are flirting with you.”

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologies about the delay to your flight. We’re just waiting for one 3D printed part, but apparently a ‘fuselage’ takes a little time.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,923

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I hate having a body, it’s so high maintenance. Shower this, eat that, drink this, sleep that, it’s all very stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

I don’t remember if I was 43 or 44 before my birthday, so now I don’t know if I’m 44 or 45. That’s your 40’s.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Found a picture of me sitting on Santa’s lap. Hard to believe it’s been a whole year.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Just shared via X:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Breaking via YouTube:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Just shared via Instagram:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Spotted on Facebook:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I may not be the smartest or most athletic man in the world. There’s no second part to this, keep scrolling.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Spotted on Discord:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Spotted on Discord:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

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