Not to brag or anything, but I can forget what I’m doing while I’m doing it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Dear brain, please finally learn the difference between hunger and boredom. I’m getting fat.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

In a job interview, you can always respond to an awkward question with a deep gaze and parted lips, followed by “You complete me.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Family guy is so insane, because why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Woke up, twerked in the mirror and laid back down.