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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Nothing worse than when I turn up to Park Run to find it is indeed going ahead.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Trying to be cute today but my face isn’t cooperating.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

“I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Broadcasted on Threads:

I love when toddlers passionately talk to you about absolutely nothing.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

It used be called “talking to yourself” but the new term for it is “podcasting”.

Going bananas on Slack:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Going viral on Instagram:

Hand sanitizer will find a cut you didn’t even know you had.

Just shared via YouTube:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Humorous quote about healthcare and pain, featuring witty banter between nurse and patient.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like both the nurse and life share a common agenda – always ready to add a little extra sting! 🩺😅 Hang in there, buddy! Life's just trying to keep you on your toes (and maybe in a bit of pain)! 💉😂"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

The human body is incredible. It’s like, “Oh, you’re stressed and sad? Here, enjoy this acne.”

25 shares on WeChat this month:

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

56 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m a fully functional adult with the energy levels of a hibernating bear.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

10 shares on Threads this month:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

56 shares on Discord this month:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

88 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Pets can’t talk but everyone loves them. This is not a coincidence.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

This heat made me realize I won’t survive in hell, I gotta change.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m only dead on the outside.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you send a man to war today, he’s gonna go there and take dark exposure aesthetic pics.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You are not obligated to post a video of yourself dancing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,625

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Apparently, all my new nephew wants to do is eat and sleep, which means he’s already a lot like me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on WeChat:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Somewhere on our planet, there is someone who doesn’t care about you at this moment. It could be billions.

Trending via X:

Could a mosquito drink blood out of a cup or something or are they legally required to Capri Sun my legs all summer?

Just shared via Pinterest:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I wish I was waking up and going to the airport.

Trending via X:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Spotted on Telegram:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Going viral on Threads:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Spotted on YouTube:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Shared recently on Slack:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

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