Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Looks like both the nurse and life share a common agenda – always ready to add a little extra sting! 🩺😅 Hang in there, buddy! Life's just trying to keep you on your toes (and maybe in a bit of pain)! 💉😂"

dialogue, fun, humor, hurt, life, me, much, nurse, pain, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

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2 months ago

assessment, child, danger, function, humor, middle, middle name, much, name, only, parenting
Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

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2 months ago

daily, daily routine, everyday, everyday life, food, fridge, humor, humor quote, life, routine, snack
For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

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1 month ago

broth, brother, called, cooking, even, family, guy, humor, never, once, pun, seen, wordplay
Please respond to my telepathic messages.

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3 months ago

communication, humor, message, messages, please, respond, telepathic, telepathy
“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

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2 months ago

humor, irony, just, kill, me, next, oh, ok, resilience, strength, time
Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

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2 months ago

activity, boredom, door, doorbell, front, front door, fun, fun activity, happiness, happy, i, joy, sheer, sheer boredom, unexpected, unexpected joy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

51 shares on Twitch this month:

I think they’ve made more Kung-Fu Panda movies in the last 20 years than they’ve made actual pandas.

25 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

62 shares on X this month:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

20 shares on Threads this month:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

45 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Hosting Thanksgiving? Bring up politics so everyone will leave early.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Kinda lame that pretending everything is fine isn’t working.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m planning to save money on Christmas gifts this year by wrapping up all the toys my toddler dropped behind the couch.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Making waves on Messenger:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Text a co-worker at a random time “are you joining this meeting?” as a fun holiday prank.

Live now on WeChat:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Nurse: “This may hurt.” Me: “My life hasn’t been much fun either.”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

For a guy supposedly called my “brother,” I’ve never seen him make broth even once.

Please respond to my telepathic messages.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨