Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Throwing “whereupon” into a few work emails today to keep it fun.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I used to think I was indecisive, but I’m not too sure any more.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Girl, are you an Uber driver? Because you are driving me to drink.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,399

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Telegram:

There is literally no rule that says you have to get married and start a family. Normalize splitting a mansion with your five best friends and ten dogs.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Just landed via TikTok:

My wife rearranged the kitchen cabinets, and now I’ll never eat again.

Going viral on Instagram:

A flat stomach is one of the best accessories.

Just shared via Messenger:

All I want I for Christmas is to go to the mall in 1986.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Going viral on YouTube:

Maturing is realizing you’re not stable enough to do mushrooms.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Dinosaurs never had coffee, and we see how that turned out.

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Hydration goals: Achieved with Carbo-loading tactics! 💧🍞 Stay fueled and watered, folks! 😄 #hydration #carbsfordays"

carbohydrate, clever, course, drink, humor, hydrated, i, nutrition, pun, stay, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

0

2 months ago

dip, doing, exercise, funny observation, humor, let, me, observation, Pilates, real, tell, toe, toe dip, woman, women, workout
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

0

2 months ago

complain, condemn, criticize, fool, humor, irony, self-awarenes
Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

0

2 months ago

doing, doing nothing, finished, hard, hard work, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, management, nothing, procrastination, time, time management, work
My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult hack, again, away, carefully, favourite, forgetfulness, hack, humor, i, important, important thing, life, life skill, lose, never, organization, put, skill, something, thing
Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

0

6 months ago

behavior, cult, humor, introvert, making, only, side eye, silence, sit, social, social behavior, suspicion
The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

0

2 months ago

bed, beds, debunked, furniture, humor, joke, regular, stacked, stacked bed, theory

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

45 shares on Twitch this month:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

83 shares on WeChat this month:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

23 shares on Discord this month:

Maybe aliens don’t visit us because they’re all women and they want us to make the first move.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

95 shares on Discord this month:

To cut a long story short, I became a film editor.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

So, if you are too tired to speak, sit next to me, because I am fluent in silence.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of making your fries my fries).

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

People be like, “I’m a work in progress” and never make any progress.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

It is a mistake to say that the people who live a hundred years from now will have nothing to laugh at. They can laugh at us.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they’re braver than me.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Whoever named the grapefruit when there was already a fruit named grape. Incompetent legend. I wish we could hang out.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Just landed via Instagram:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Patience and forbearance are those qualities you develop when there are too many witnesses.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨