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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The world is in chaos, confess to your crush!

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. How many minutes did you spend listening to your girlfriend this year?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I cannot imagine being in high school right now. Imagine the world is eating itself alive and you’re in school.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Are you http? Because I’m :// without you.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Cursing after hitting oneself can reduce the pain by up to 50%.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

Going viral on Slack:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Going viral on Discord:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Just landed via Instagram:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Just shared via Twitch:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

Spotted on Telegram:

To be fair, a dumpster is like one of the safest places to have a fire.

Making waves on TikTok:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive Oligarchy sauce—the perfect pairing for your breadstick-dipping adventures at Olive Garden! 🍞🥫 Just be careful, too much Oligarchy might lead to an unexpected hierarchy of breadstick hoarders at your table! 😂 #BreadstickMonarchy"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Any time I throw up, I stare at it like I’m getting a message from the past.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My brain logged me out due to inactivity, and I can’t remember the password.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I just can’t watch football, there’s too much “penetration in the backfield” for me to not giggle like an immature maniac.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I’m gonna start telling men I know a spot and it’s just me dropping them off at therapy.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Just shared via Telegram:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Just shared via Telegram:

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

Freshly posted on X:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Breaking via Instagram:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Going viral on Telegram:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Just shared via YouTube:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

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