Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I just looked over at my new shoes and the box says “vegan”. I’ve never had to feed my other shoes before.
  • Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.
  • I need a horror movie where a kidnapper abducts a possessed child and finds out.
  • I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.
  • You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”
  • I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.