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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate when an old man tries to friend me on Facebook and then I realize we went to high school together.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Remember when you could lay in one position for hours, now you have to rotate like a rotisserie chicken every 15 minutes or a hip hurts.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I love spending my parents’ money, they must pay for bringing me into this world.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

I’ve been reading the room for 20 minutes. It’s not looking so good.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I like you because we hate the same people.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,460

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

Just shared via YouTube:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Going bananas on TikTok:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Spotted on Discord:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Trending via Twitch:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Asbestos? I’m doing asbestos I can.

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

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One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of aging 🌧️👵 Embracing life's little reminders that you're not as young and invincible as you used to be! Time to invest in some knee braces and a weather app 🌧️💪 #RainyDayRealizations"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

74 shares on Messenger this month:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

She got me to fall for her, like a boomer seeing an AI image on Facebook.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

I need to have a ginger ale about this.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I saw someone wearing a shirt today that said “Eat Pasta Run Fasta,” and I can’t get it out of my head.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I didn’t want to go to work tomorrow morning.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,590

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Women are able to leave the country unexpectedly at any time with the contents of their handbag.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Not having to bring my backpack to the last day of elementary school was the last time I truly felt free.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Curly fries are my favorite as they’re salty and spiraling, like me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I see WWIII is about to kick off again. I’d best cancel the milk and get the cat in.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

I’m perverted, but in an elegant and whimsical way.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

I took the road less traveled because I was hoping not to run into anyone I know along the way.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

Trending via TikTok:

That incredible ability of cats to only throw up on carpeted floors.

Spotted on TikTok:

Wow, you did such a great job clicking in your little spreadsheets today. Super proud of you.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Going viral on Threads:

Using ChatGPT requires you to actually be smart; otherwise, it just regurgitates your dumb takes back to you.

Making waves on Instagram:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Spotted on X:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

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