Trendy Funny Quotes

  • You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.
  • I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.
  • I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.
  • Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
  • Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.
  • I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.