Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

The breathing exercises from the birth preparation course are only needed once the child has reached puberty.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

297 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,566

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,566

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,392

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Broadcasted on Discord:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Just landed via TikTok:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Ain’t no way there’s billions of us and nobody got superpowers.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Just landed via Instagram:

It’s not a competition, but if it was I would win.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Broadcasted on Threads:

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Opera: where drama meets denial at its finest 🗡️🎶 Who needs blood when you have a high note to hit, right? 😂"

art, back, guy, humor, opera, performance, singing, stabbing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

2 months ago

activity, beautiful, dating, drinks, Friday, fun, fun activity, humor, i, invitation, invite, me, relaxation, weekend, woman
Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

2 months ago

brag, call, customer, customer service, hold, humor, important, irony, service, waiting
Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

2 months ago

clue, confusion, going, humor, ignorance, imagine, sarcasm, self-awareness, thinking
I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

6 months ago

bet, dumb, even, fake, fake laugh, humor, i, joke, jokes, laugh, relationship, sarcasm
When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

2 months ago

able, aisle, aisles, around, call, confusion, cops, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, joke, moves, navigation, police, shopping, should, store
Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

2 months ago

creativity, humor, individuality, inspiration, nonsense, positivity, wish, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

49 shares on Slack this month:

You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.

11 shares on X this month:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Me: Hello, darkness, my old friend. Darkness: I have a boyfriend.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people should have read-only access to the internet.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

We decided to have money instead of children.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

66 shares on X this month:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I don’t consider myself anything but average. However, I have aged well.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

I’m very strong, but not in a get a jar open kinda way.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Expecting your first baby’s exciting, but have you ever ordered a new coffee machine?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Apple’s secret growth engine: vibe coders paying the $99 Apple Developer Program fee.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Trending via Reddit:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Making waves on Slack:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Going viral on Discord:

Tall people make me nervous. What the hell are you doing up there? Stop eating the leaves off that tree.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨