Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.

2 months ago

Commentary:
"Opera: where drama meets denial at its finest 🗡️🎶 Who needs blood when you have a high note to hit, right? 😂"

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

1 month ago

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Depression is embarrassing because sometimes it makes you miss appointments and not return phone calls, and when the fog starts to lift, you gotta do a whole bloody apology tour.

1 month ago

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When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

2 months ago

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I’m not saying it’s been a while, I’m just saying I completely blanked on the name of my gym.

2 months ago

blank, fitness, forgetfulness, gym, humor, i, irony, just, memory, name, saying
I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

1 month ago

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I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

1 month ago

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