“Where” is the most stressful word in the English language, usually followed by a frantic search for something that was in your hand thirty seconds ago. 📱💨 It is the…

“Always” is a bold, dramatic word that usually precedes a life lesson we learned the hard way. 🛑💥 It’s the backbone of every universal law that seems designed to personally…

Life is essentially just a long series of interactions with “things” that don’t want to cooperate. 🛠️💢 Whether it’s the thingamajig that fell off your car, the “internet of things”…

Advice is the only gift people give you where they get offended if you don’t use it, even if the advice was “you should definitely try cutting your own bangs.”…

Aging is a strange process where you go from being “cool and trendy” to someone who considers a high-quality vacuum cleaner a major lifestyle upgrade. 🧹✨ It’s that magical time…

Health is that brief, fleeting period between “I should probably start working out” and “Oh look, a cheese platter.” 🧀🏃‍♀️ We live in a world where we’re constantly told to…

Observations are the tiny truths we all notice but rarely say out loud until someone else mentions them and we realize we aren’t actually losing our minds. 🧠🌀 It’s that…

Comedy is the art of telling the truth while people are too busy laughing to get offended. 🎤🔥 It’s the ultimate social lubricant, the only acceptable way to talk about…

Money can’t buy happiness, but it certainly allows you to be miserable in a much nicer neighborhood with better snacks. 🏰🥨 We’ve all been told that “the best things in…

We spend our whole lives trying to be “good”—good at our jobs, good at adulting, or just “good” at remembering to take the laundry out of the washer before it…

Self-deprecation is the ultimate survival skill; it’s basically just beating the world to the punch so you can control the narrative of your own disaster. 🥊💨 Why wait for someone…

“Never” is a very strong word, usually uttered by someone right before they do the exact thing they swore they’d never do. 🤡🚩 Whether it’s promising you’ll never eat that…

Dating in the modern world is essentially a competitive sport where the main prize is someone who actually looks like their profile picture and doesn’t mention their ex within the…

Having a boyfriend is like having a giant, slightly confused toddler who is occasionally helpful and surprisingly good at reaching things on high shelves. 🙋‍♂️🪜 It’s a romantic partnership built…

Family is the group of people who know exactly how to push your buttons because they’re the ones who installed them in the first place. 🔘🛠️ It’s a beautiful, chaotic…

Let’s be honest: we all have a love-hate relationship with our phones. We open an app to check the weather, and forty-five minutes later, we’re watching a tutorial on how…

Frustration is that special kind of magic that transforms a calm, rational human being into a person who wants to fight an automated phone menu or throw a stapler into…

We live in a world where “the media” is no longer just a newspaper on your doorstep; it’s a non-stop, 24-hour shouting match that lives in your pocket and follows…

Thinking is a dangerous pastime that usually leads to one of two things: a brilliant idea that you’ll forget in ten minutes, or a deep spiral into why you said…

Sleep is that wonderful, magical state of being where you can finally ignore all your adult responsibilities, provided your brain doesn’t decide that 3:00 AM is the perfect time to…

Parenting is the only job in the world where you can be a CEO, a personal chef, a high-stakes negotiator, and a human kleenex all before 8:00 AM—and you don’t…

There is a massive, hilarious difference between what we actually “need” to survive and what we convince ourselves we “need” after three glasses of wine and a browsing session on…

Procrastination isn’t just a habit; it’s a high-stakes lifestyle choice that turns a simple task into a dramatic race against the clock. 🏃‍♂️💨 We’ve all been there—staring at a deadline…

Life would be incredibly simple if it weren’t for the fact that there is always “someone” involved. 🧍‍♂️🌀 Whether it’s that “someone” who ate the leftovers you were thinking about…