Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I might look like I have my life together, but that’s only because the mess is out of the camera frame.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

“Stop overthinking.” Oh, wow. Hadn’t considered that. Solved.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’m a kid at heart and a senior citizen at my knees and back.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Seaweed is great for when you want to eat pure salt but wish it had the texture of slime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,664

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Another Monday that no one asked for.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Going viral on Twitch:

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Don’t mispronounce anything next to me and think I didn’t hear it.

Going bananas on Threads:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Seen just now on X:

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

Going viral on Slack:

Last night my guardian angel came to me, covered me up, gave me a kiss on the forehead and whispered in my ear: “You’re a pain in the ass!”

Seen just now on WeChat:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Going viral on Telegram:

Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

More funny quotes 👇

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

0

5 months ago

babe, humor, joke, just, love, partner, relationship, soulmate, worry

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

67 shares on Slack this month:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

57 shares on Twitch this month:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

43 shares on Threads this month:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you voted for someone because “he’s not a politician”, then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

This Monday is Mondaying like it’s never Mondayed before.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

98 shares on Twitch this month:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Ain’t nothing better than knowing you were right when everyone else thought you were crazy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

My biggest fear about becoming a zombie is all the walking that I’d have to do.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

A dating app that matches people by the conspiracy theories they are interested in.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

When God created the giraffe, he probably slipped with the mouse on the screen. This is how its neck was created.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I was going to buy my wife a car for Christmas but then I remembered I don’t live in a commercial.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

First rule for the new year is to not dwell on what went wrong this year.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sex is like tacos. I wish I were having some now.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Going viral on Reddit:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Seen just now on Slack:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Breaking via Messenger:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨