Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Imagine haunting people for eternity looking all creased and trying to straighten yourself out… 👻🛏️ Talk about a boo-humbug situation! Just ghostly things, I guess! 😂"

afterlife, back, death, die, embarrassment, fitted sheet, ghost, humiliation, humor, irony, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

0

5 months ago

analogy, closer, end, faster, humor, life, paper, roll, time, toilet, toilet paper
Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

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2 months ago

anticipation, day, even, Friday, humor, only, procrastination, Thursday, week
Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

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2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, embarrassment, fly, friendship, humor, joke, let, man, me, moment
I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

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2 months ago

anxiety, avoidance, conversation, humor, i, neighbors, public, social, social anxiety, talk, told, twin
Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

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2 months ago

afterlife, chain, Chain Saw, critique, death, die, film, full, hole, horror, horror film, humor, massacre, movie, movie critique, plot, plot hole, saw, Texas, victim
“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

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2 months ago

before, caffeinated, caffeinated weightlifter, counterfeit, counterfeit sleigh, E, eight, except, feisty, foreign, foreign neighbor, i, keith, name, name Keith, neighbor, number, number eight, rule, sleigh, spelling, spelling rule, weightlifter, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

46 shares on Telegram this month:

I took the road less traveled. Where am I?

32 shares on TikTok this month:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of ‘Quit emailing me so much before Christmas.’

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Studies show that 100% of all parents think alcohol tastes much better after spending the day with children.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Wish I came with subtitles because I mumble a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

Most of Twitter could probably use a good bop on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Twitter is an abusement park.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Spotted on Telegram:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Making waves on Discord:

My body is 70% water and 30% tired of pretending I know what I’m doing.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I’m not making any resolutions. I think it’s time for the years to be better, not me.

Just landed via Facebook:

Elsa froze her entire kingdom instead of dealing with her feelings. I respect that level of avoidance.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m gonna dress how I want this summer, and if you think I’m fat, well, so do I.

Going viral on Messenger:

Sorry for widening my eyes and whispering “The prophecy” when we first met.

Making waves on Reddit:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

Not only is it not Friday, it’s not even Thursday.

Hey man, your fly is down. Let me get that for you.

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨