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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Scared to go on dates, cause what if I find the one and never be able to be single again.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Social media has dragged humans back into Plato’s cave, and chained them there.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,332

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Just shared via Threads:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Just shared via WeChat:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Spotted on TikTok:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Just shared via Reddit:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Going viral on WeChat:

Have come to the devastating realization that I am an over-nodder on video calls.

Freshly posted on X:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Making waves on WeChat:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Witty and playful text suggesting a humorous money-saving tip for cozy sleeping.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs fancy bedding when you've got a mattress for that extra *weight* in your life? 💸😴 #BudgetSleepingHacks"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on YouTube this month:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

If he doesn’t like your fruit puns, you need to let that mango.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

19 shares on Threads this month:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

23 shares on YouTube this month:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

34 shares on Twitch this month:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m not bothered if you don’t like me, awesomeness isn’t for everyone.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Love that every time I finish a snack I have to wave my hands around to prove to my dog it’s all gone, like I’m cashing him out at a casino or something.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Like most people my age, I’m 50.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m on power saving mode.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

My laundry is done, but I don’t even want it anymore. The washing machine can keep it.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I need to eat healthier but donuts exist.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Getting a second opinion about my Tamagotchi’s health.

Seen just now on Slack:

Every grocery store becomes an escape room if you see someone you know.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Going viral on Messenger:

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’ve had two glasses of wine and responded with “Omgggg congrats, sweet girl” on an engagement post of someone I haven’t spoken to in 5 years.

Spotted on Messenger:

The word synergy sounds like a mix of the words sin and energy. Like, to be debauched but to do it with flair and zest.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

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