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Commentary:
"Spotted an ambulance at the hospital… I guess even the doctors need a lift sometimes! 🚑😅 Here's hoping they just lost their way to the cafeteria and not to a medical emergency! 🏥🙏"

ambulance, doctors, health, hope, hospital, humor, i, irony, okay, seen

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

0

2 months ago

beer, beverage, big, humor, joke, knows, lady, letting, me, missing, next, pool, pregnancy, pregnant, relaxation, social, summer, taking
If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

0

2 months ago

automation, cashier, cashiers, consumer, consumer price, debate, economy, living, living wage, paying, price, prices, retail, self-checkout, wage, wage debate, why
I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

0

2 months ago

alcoholic, alcoholic beverage, beverage, blood, Blood of Mannaroth, dew, drink, fantasy, green, green drink, humor, i, mannaroth, mix, mixing, mixing drink, mountain, Mountain Dew, nickname, orc, used, vodka
“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

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3 weeks ago

craving, dessert, food, heart, humor, i, sweet, sweet tooth, table, temptation, tooth, walk, wants, whisper
Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

0

2 months ago

behavior, electricity, empowerment, ever, fork, humor, i, irony, risky, risky behavior, socket, time, unexpected
Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

0

2 months ago

bro, communication, conversation, ever, excuse, humor, just, life, media, phone, relationship, right, sarcasm, social, social media, technology, texting, time, using, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Just did a seductive hair flip and an onion ring flew out.

12 shares on Pinterest this month:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

57 shares on Telegram this month:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

35 shares on Threads this month:

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

80 shares on Discord this month:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Ancient Egyptians used to worship cats and write on walls, a practice we still continue to do today on the Internet.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Guy in front of me at the movies was reading the popcorn Wikipedia page while he was eating popcorn.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Are there any medium rappers? They’re always Big or Lil.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I heard you like bad boys. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Just landed via Messenger:

My super talent is hitting every red light on the way to wherever the hell I’m going.

Going bananas on Discord:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Where have you been all of my life and can you please go back there?

Just landed via Slack:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Just landed via WeChat:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Just shared via YouTube:

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Going viral on YouTube:

The fact that someone looked straight at a purple onion and named it red onion really bothers me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Seen an ambulance at the hospital. I hope the doctors are okay.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Taking a sip of beer and letting out a big “ahhhh” so the pregnant lady at the pool next to me knows what she’s missing.

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” I whisper as I slowly walk up to the dessert table.

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨