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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Girls will be like, “This is my comfort song,” and it’s the howling of a wolf inside a dark forest.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Probably the most depressed I’ve ever been in my life, except for a bunch of other times.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Just landed via YouTube:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Just shared via Threads:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Going viral on Reddit:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Going viral on Discord:

There should be a tented fingers emoji. For when you’re feeling ruminative.

Just landed via YouTube:

If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

Making waves on Snapchat:

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Making waves on Discord:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

2 months ago

0

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like those fruit flies were determined to buzz their way into a relationship, but unfortunately, their courting tactics might need a bit of fine-tuning 🍌🦟 At least they were committed to showing her some "a-peel", even if their methods were a bit unconventional! 🤣

animals, apartment, date, fly, fruit, fruit fly, humor, pest, relationship, turn, turn off

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

0

2 months ago

bakery, experience, food, humor, nice, perfume, scent, vanilla, walking
It’s always a huge relief when I’m reading a list of symptoms of a deadly disease, and it says unexplained weight loss.

0

5 months ago

always, anxiety, deadly, deadly disease, disease, health, huge, humor, joke, list, loss, reading, relief, symptom, symptoms, unexplained, unexplained weight loss, weight
Sane is boring.

0

2 months ago

boring, fun, humor, personality, sane
My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

0

2 days ago

90, beverage, drink, flaw, humor, i, lemonade, perseverance, specialty, specialty drink, taste, taste test, test, try
They say dress for the job you want, so I walk around dressed like Darth Vader.

0

2 months ago

around, aspiration, character, costume, darth, Darth Vader, dress, dressed, humor, i, job, parody, say, vader, walk, want
Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

0

5 months ago

able, anger, being, drama, flip, flip phone, frustration, humor, miss, nostalgia, phone, shut

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

I get it, laundry, no one is doing me either.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

73 shares on X this month:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

89 shares on YouTube this month:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

84 shares on Discord this month:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Red Bull doesn’t give me wings, it gives me gas.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,558

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

So apparently problems don’t go away if you ignore them.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Eating Chinese takeout is never as depressing as in the movies. It usually is good.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Stay humble and play dumb. People reveal who they truly are when they think they are smarter than you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Going viral on TikTok:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Spotted on Twitch:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

Making waves on X:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Going viral on WeChat:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

Shared recently on Discord:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Live now on Discord:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴