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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Telling a child not to touch something only ensures that child is definitely now going to touch that something.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,908

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Girls these days are like a box of chocolates. Some have nuts.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Making waves on WeChat:

Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?

Trending via WeChat:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Just shared via X:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Spotted on Messenger:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Going viral on Instagram:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

Spotted on LinkedIn:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

2 months ago

0

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🕵️‍♂️💻 Ah, the mystical creatures known as web experts – their knowledge knows no bounds! 🧠💡 They must have attended the University of Google🎓 and obtained a Ph.D. in Online Wisdom! 🤣🌐 Just remember, not all that glitters on the web is gold! 😉

everything, expert, experts, humor, irony, know, knowledge, sarcasm, shout, shout out, web

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

0

2 months ago

bacon, dollar, every, fat, food, humor, i, ID, just, me, money, self-deprecation, someone, spend, spending, time
Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, day, every, humor, i, irony, life, life struggle, morning, negativity, single, struggle, woke, woke up
He’s making a list, he’s checking it twice, he’s leaving the store, he still forgot milk.

0

2 months ago

checking, forgetfulness, forgot, holiday, humor, leaving, list, making, milk, shopping, still, store, twice
Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

0

4 weeks ago

able, distraction, ever, genuine, humor, love, loved, media, pause, reel, scroll, self-awareness, social, social media, sometimes, sure, video, YouTube
My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

0

3 months ago

emotion, heartbroken, humor, i, mood, music, playlist, random, same, thugged, thugged out, time, yeehaw
Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

0

4 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, bit, body, body reaction, boner, boy, Funny, getting, humor, moment, random, random boner, reaction

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Reddit this month:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t like this new trend of old people wearing shirts of bands I listened to when I was a kid.

92 shares on Discord this month:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

I think my type is a nice person.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

52 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

28 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You’ll never be as lazy as the person who named the fireplace.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,701

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I remember sex. That was cool.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

All these deadlines, but it’s you I want to meet.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Making waves on Telegram:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Making waves on WeChat:

At this point making life choices involves liquor and a dart board.

Just shared via Slack:

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Going viral on WeChat:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Them: I haven’t seen you in a long time. Me: You’re welcome.

Trending via TikTok:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

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