Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

The difference between coffee and your opinion is that I asked for coffee.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,267

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Making waves on Reddit:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Making waves on YouTube:

They should make a biopic of just some random guy.

Just landed via Discord:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Spotted on Messenger:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate to brag, but I’ve been the biggest mistake of numerous people’s lives.

Going viral on Telegram:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the sweet paradox of social distancing: the less you see them, the more you like them! 🤣👫 #IntrovertWins"

away, better, humor, i, isolation, much, people, relationships, socializing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

0

2 months ago

dress, expression, fashion, gender, humor, i, individuality, men, style, weather, women
Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

0

2 months ago

awkward, compliment, forget, forgot, headphone, headphones, home, humor, hurt, romance, romanticize, walk, walk home
I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

0

2 months ago

boundary, draining, humor, i, media, quick, real, self-care, social, social media, soul, unco-worker, uncousin, unfamily, unfollow, unfriend
You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad guy, comedian, double, double standard, free, good, guy, hear, humor, i, money, offensive, pay, say, something, standard
My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

0

2 months ago

change, crush, found, humor, i, information, just, lack, lack of information, life, life change, once, perspective, realization, relationships
My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

0

2 months ago

cold, comparison, happening, humor, illness, me, worse, yours

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on WeChat this month:

I saw God in a dream and all he did was brag about making Pedro Pascal.

53 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My toxic trait is optimism.

42 shares on X this month:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

75 shares on Discord this month:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

66 shares on X this month:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

19 shares on Twitch this month:

Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. Like Wednesday.

53 shares on Slack this month:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Some people are like wallpaper… same pattern repeating every time.

33 shares on Messenger this month:

So, does anyone know how to end mass religious psychosis, or is it just a thing now until we slowly die off from climate-induced disasters?

64 shares on Threads this month:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

I have the body of a god. Sadly, it’s Buddha after brunch.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Flat earth is too mainstream, hollow earth is where it’s at.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Sometimes life is “Eat, pray, love,” and sometimes it’s “Scroll, snack, overthink.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Shared recently on Discord:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Breaking via WeChat:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Going bananas on X:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

Just shared via YouTube:

They should invent a word for when you’re alive but not really living.

Going viral on YouTube:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Spotted on Reddit:

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Just landed via Threads:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Just landed via WeChat:

“Why are you so quiet?” Because I’m barely even here.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

You’ll pay good money to hear a comedian say something offensive, but when I say it for free, I’m the bad guy.

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

My cold is worse than yours because it’s happening to me.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨