Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Hot singles in your area! They don’t want to talk to you. But they’re there.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Before social media, you could just completely forget that somebody existed. Good times.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The Epstein files are real, but they can’t figure out how to convert them to a PDF.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Math is like Chinese to me.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,654

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Live now on Slack:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Just landed via Snapchat:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I was living in the moment until I was evicted.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The Princess and the Pea, except it’s a rogue hair on the inside of my shirt driving me crazy all day.

Trending via Messenger:

Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.

Seen just now on Slack:

Would rather walk around a shop 500 times to find something than ask a member of staff who works there like a normal person.

Seen just now on Threads:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Witty text about fake people, humorously suggesting their lock screens can't identify them.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Talk about not even fooling your own phone! 📱😂 Looks like their lockscreens are the real MVPs detecting that fakeness! 😜 #Can'tFakeIt"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

79 shares on YouTube this month:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

18 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

32 shares on Slack this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

24 shares on Pinterest this month:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

46 shares on Threads this month:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can everyone please turn their A/C off during the day, we need that power to generate images of people with eight fingers.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,763

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The void screams into me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If you live in the same hemisphere as me, you’ve probably already heard me sneeze.

Shared recently on Discord:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Spotted on WeChat:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Live now on Reddit:

Do animals have celebrities? Like, do birds all recognize that one bird who sings really well?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Just shared via Messenger:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Making waves on Slack:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Spotted on Twitch:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Just shared via X:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

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