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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Everyone deserves a day to lie in bed naked and be anti-social. Just sayin’.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

What happened to my ankles tonight mosquitologically can never happen again.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re wondering how motherhood is going, I’m watching a TV show and someone is in traction with a full body cast and I sighed and said “That looks so relaxing”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

If you start liking someone, just block them. Follow me for more relationship advice.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

3 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Starting conversations with short people by saying “back when I was your height…”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Having to choose between an old guy or a convicted felon is a perfect depiction of what dating apps are Iike.

Reported on Pinterest:

You just can’t live a full life on an empty stomach.

Trending via Snapchat:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Just landed via X:

Eating the sticker on an apple counts as 35% of your daily fiber intake.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

Going viral on Instagram:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

6 months ago

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

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Commentary:
Wow, can you believe "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" is turning 40? 🎂🎉 If you're humming that catchy tune, you might also be feeling the back pain of nostalgia creeping in! 🎶💔 Just remember, with great music comes great responsibility… to stretch and take care of your spine! 💪😄

40, back pain, dream, earworm, music

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

3 minutes ago

3,416

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

A man’s home is his castle, but his garage is his sanctuary.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I hope the ghost of Michael Jackson Hee-Hee’s in your ear while you tryna sleep.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I need to start hiding my money from myself.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

You know what part I love about waking up? None of it. Let me sleep!

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I love ordering things online because when they arrive it’s like a present from me to me.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re doing cardio.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Having a conversation with me is kind of like taking the scenic route.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

Spotted on Twitch:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Making waves on Slack:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Just landed via Telegram:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The most valuable breed of cow are the Cash.

Freshly posted on X:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Going viral on Pinterest:

After my death, I’ll be very busy. The list of people to whom I want to appear as a ghost is getting longer every day.

Making waves on WeChat:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Making waves on Reddit:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

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