Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

It’s never too early to be sad about having to work the next day.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

“You’re overthinking this!” Bro, I have anxiety. I have no other type of thinking available.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Dec 23, 2025

4,059

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

My life started becoming a mess when I was put in charge of my own bedtime.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Going viral on Messenger:

Another fine day ruined by waking up.

Trending via Instagram:

After 30, an all-nighter is not getting up to pee.

Making waves on Slack:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

We’d all look younger if we just avoided young people.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When I’m at a party, I pretend to be Pac-Man. I eat everything and run away from anyone coming close to me.

Live now on LinkedIn:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Please leave me alone. I’m just a 3,000-year-old time-traveling alien who is trying to return to his home planet.

Breaking via Telegram:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

2 months ago

0

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs designated drive-thru lanes when you've got determination and a hunger that won't wait? 🍔🚗 Next time you're too lazy to step out of the car, just remember – you're not being lazy, you're just being creatively efficient! 😉 #DriveThruOrBust"

commitment, depends, dining, drive-thru, fast, fast food, food, humor, just, restaurant, task

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I am convinced that at least half of you are bots.

0

1 month ago

am, artificial, artificial intelligence, bot, bots, convinced, half, humor, i, intelligence, least, skepticism, technology
I might be late to a lot of places, but the airport is not one of them.

0

4 months ago

airport, humor, i, late, lateness, lot, places, punctuality, travel
I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

0

1 month ago

always, better, connectivity, desert, digital, humor, i, internet, joke, looking, occasionally, pun, signal, tech, tech humor, technology, wandering, wifi
Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

0

2 months ago

ad, advertising, confusion, humor, irony, me, modern, thing, watching
Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

0

1 month ago

attitude, beauty, confidence, count, empowerment, energy, girls, humor, ignore, independence, mindset, positivity, pretty, self-care, self-love, sit, weird
Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

0

2 months ago

dog, doggy, doggy style, humor, i, joke, means, right, style, treat

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on YouTube this month:

They should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up feeling rested.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

The day your kids stop waking up early on the weekend is the same day your body stops letting you sleep in.

20 shares on Threads this month:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

22 shares on X this month:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Me: Do you have the movie I want to watch? Netflix: No, but we have hundreds of movies that you don’t want to watch!

82 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe if I spend another day alone in my room then something life-changing will suddenly happen to me!?

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

68 shares on Reddit this month:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

67 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The greatest trick ever was making people feel more connected, when they are actually more alone than ever.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Where does everyone go to get kisses? I haven’t figured this out yet.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust a wet fart.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

My five-year plan is to just see what happens.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing taxes for an ant who inherited a teaspoon of sugar.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,693

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Once this pandemic ends, I’m legit quitting video games and getting a girlfriend for real.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Being an adult is crazy. Because what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

Introverts have fun, too — we just don’t care if you know.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I hate to brag but I excel at my faults.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Making waves on X:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

Making waves on X:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Seen just now on X:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Sex is so embarrassing. Like, why did I want to do that to you?

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’ll stop smoking weed when life stops smoking me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Living with a dog is 90% following each other around, watching each other go potty, and wondering what the other has in their mouth.

Going viral on X:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

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