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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

My wife trusts me with a joint bank account but when I’m loading the dishwasher she always walks in the kitchen “to get something.”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Betrayal only comes from someone we’re close to. Just like herpes.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The most romantic minds of our time are being subjected to situationships.

Just shared via YouTube:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Trending via Reddit:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

Going viral on Threads:

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Making waves on Discord:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Going viral on Slack:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Trending via Slack:

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Spotted on Threads:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m sorry I didn’t text you back. I’m really busy watching the The Lord of The Rings in the form of mini clips on TikTok.

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs workout buddies when you can just mirror yourself? 💪 Double the gains, half the fees! 🏋️‍♂️ #TwinningGoals"

advantage, being, contract, fitness, gym, humor, need, twin

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

0

2 months ago

accuse, alive, dating, deception, ever, fun, give, humor, mystery, name, privacy, real, relationship, secrecy
I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

0

2 months ago

another, appliance, dimension, household, household appliance, humor, laundry, laundry humor, machine, missing, missing socks, portal, sock, socks, washing, washing machine
My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

0

4 months ago

delicious, delicious food, food, food lover, future, future husband, humor, hunger, hungry, husband, i, know, lover, lucky, never, relationship, restaurant, restaurants, stay
Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

0

2 months ago

ask, awkward, blocked, comedy, couch, courage, humor, i, imagine, me, playful, quirky, rejection, relationship, under, unexpected, why
With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, digestive, digestive trouble, health, humor, lessons, life, life lessons, trouble, wisdom
The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

0

2 months ago

choke, choking, cool, coworker, culture, darth, Darth Vader, force, humor, lost, meeting, pop, pop culture, scene, sci-fi, staff, staff meeting, star, Star Wars, used, vader, wars, workplace

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

78 shares on TikTok this month:

The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

47 shares on Threads this month:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Just got hired at Five Guys as the guy who punches the burger before they put it in the bag.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

86 shares on Telegram this month:

Please continue to leave me out of the loop.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

Life is hard. It is harder if you are stupid.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I used to mix Mountain Dew with the cheapest vodka I could find, and I called it the Blood of Mannaroth because it’s green and turns you into an orc.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

I don’t need a New Year’s resolution. It’s the year’s turn to be better.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Twitch:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I love to see “pan-fried” on a menu. I hate food that’s fried in a shoe.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Going viral on Reddit:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Making waves on Telegram:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Making waves on Telegram:

I know it’s traditional to start work at 9, but I think we could lower that age to 8.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Trending via WeChat:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Please don’t invite me over if you have a leather chair that’s already peeling. I will peel it some more when you’re not looking.

Making waves on Snapchat:

At what age do people actually meet up to play bingo? I’m ready.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

With age comes wisdom. And digestive trouble.

The most realistic scene in Star Wars was when Darth Vader lost his cool during a staff meeting and used the force to choke a coworker.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨