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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Why can’t hackers just delete everyone’s bad debt, credit, and mortgages?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Do you ever stress about money, then accidentally order from Amazon?

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The older I get, the more I understand why witches lived alone in the woods.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Female friendship is all about taking turns being insane. First, one of you is crazy, and the other has to counterbalance by being normal. Then, thirty minutes later, you get to trade.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

4,025

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Some days you’re the shit and some days you’re the fan.

Trending via Reddit:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Why do babies stare at you like they know you from somewhere?

Spotted on X:

People are like lottery tickets, most of them are losers.

Trending via Discord:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

Seen just now on YouTube:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Broadcasted on X:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

2 months ago

0

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question of who's the better singer: the feathered virtuosos or the lyrical masters? 🎶🐦 Perhaps the songbirds have the melody, but the hummingbird definitely has the rhythm! 🎵🐦💃"

difference, hummingbird, humor, knows, lyrics, music, songbird

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I could put my keys in the same spot every day, but why deprive myself of a treasure hunt that makes me late.

0

2 months ago

activity, daily, daily routine, day, every, forgetfulness, fun, fun activity, humor, hunt, i, keys, late, me, myself, procrastination, punctuality, put, routine, same, spot, treasure, treasure hunt, why
Walking up to any crime scene and whispering within the crowd, “It’s started again, hasn’t it?” then leaving.

0

2 months ago

again, crime, crime scene, crowd, dark, dark humor, exit, humor, interaction, irony, leaving, mystery, scene, social, social interaction, unexpected, walking, whisper
I bought a little bag of air today. The company that made it was kind enough to put some potato chips in it as well.

0

2 months ago

air, bag, chip, chips, company, enough, humor, i, joke, kind, little, parody, playful, potato, potato chip, put, satire, snack, snack humor, today, well
Sorry I’m late, I believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left in the cycle.

0

2 months ago

chores, cycle, excuse, household, household chores, humor, i, late, left, machine, minute, only, procrastination, sorry, washing, washing machine
A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

0

2 months ago

humor, learning, people, reading, something, study, text, thought, useful
Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, complaint, day, fine, humor, irony, life, responsibility

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Reddit this month:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

39 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

They should release the Epstein list right before the Oscars.

26 shares on Threads this month:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

23 shares on Twitch this month:

I was dismayed to hear the story of Rumpelstiltskin. I had no idea he was like that outside of work.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I think I’ll just let my jazz hands speak for themselves.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Do I work hard? No. But do I work smart to compensate. Absolutely not.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

No dating apps this year. Just going to walk around and smile at people and send an occasional unhinged DM.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

4,049

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

“Overdressed” is a social construct created by hating girls.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Toddlers will take your last nerve, deep fry it and eat it for breakfast.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Making waves on Discord:

“It can’t get any worse than this”, I lie to myself knowing it will absolutely get worse.

Just landed via YouTube:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Just shared via Slack:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Going viral on Instagram:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

Spotted on Telegram:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Live now on Twitch:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

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