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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

When you are in your 20s, there is going to be an urge to binge The Sopranos. it is very important that you press play.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I’d end my life from loneliness before I ever talk to ChatGPT like it’s my friend.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,320

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Just landed via WeChat:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Going bananas on YouTube:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Spotted on Instagram:

If you have any questions or concerns please don’t. Hesitate to ask.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Growing up means choosing cozy couch moments over crowded club scenes. Cheers to adulting!

Breaking via Discord:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Going viral on Telegram:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Just landed via Snapchat:

God, never seen San Francisco this bad. Spiderwebs completely covering entire business, skeletons just strewn about sidewalks in every neighborhood. Things have got to change!

Just landed via Messenger:

For a guy with no reflection, Dracula’s eyeliner is always flawless.

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

0
The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal question of who's the better singer: the feathered virtuosos or the lyrical masters? 🎶🐦 Perhaps the songbirds have the melody, but the hummingbird definitely has the rhythm! 🎵🐦💃"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Facebook this month:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

I make her eyes roll back. Not in bed though. I’m just annoying.

87 shares on TikTok this month:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Social media is a great way to make new enemies.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Billionaires are so weird. What are you saving up for? Hell?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know if I’m still tired or already tired.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I really want to be nice, but annoying people just won’t let me.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Men want to meet up too easily. What if I plan to sacrifice you?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,471

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Pornhub should do a wrap-up of your year like Spotify does.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

If anyone is still on Facebook, please check on my parents.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

Going viral on Slack:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Trending via WhatsApp:

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

Going viral on YouTube:

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

Trending via Discord:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Just shared via Instagram:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

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