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Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

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Itโ€™s awesome when people honk at you for not moving when youโ€™re letting people cross. Youโ€™re right, bro, I should just annihilate this family of four.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has shared:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

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That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

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If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

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Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

โ€œMale loneliness epidemicโ€ and itโ€™s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

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Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

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Doctors donโ€™t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, itโ€™s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

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Fancy restaurants are self-esteem destroyers because good luck not leaving an embarrassing stain on the white table cloth. Ever.

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The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Commentary:
"Ah, winter – the perfect season for embracing your inner hermit ๐Ÿฆ‰ Fewer daylight hours means fewer humans to dodge ๐Ÿ˜‚ Embrace the solitude and cozy up with some hot cocoa! โ˜•๏ธโ„๏ธ #WinterWinning"



Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฏ has bookmarked:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡บ has viewed:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

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In Russia, the cold complains about you.

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All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

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Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesnโ€™t enjoy his job, officer.

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Just because your parents planned you doesnโ€™t mean you werenโ€™t a mistake.

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My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

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I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

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I wonder what other animals we tried to ride before discovering that horses were cool with it.

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Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.