The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Just rolled over for a cuddle.. forgot I’m single… fell off the bed.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

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You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Friends with benefits, but it’s just that they make delicious baked goods.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

You got a better chance getting chased by a dog than by me.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.