Trendy Funny Quotes

  • The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.
  • I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.
  • Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.
  • Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.
  • The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.
  • Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.