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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Super excited to not contribute anything worthwhile today.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Saying “You’re tearing this family apart” whenever someone argues with me.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

“Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by “Wham” encourages you to do something you shouldn’t do.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

“I’m not even close to how crazy I’m legally entitled to be.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,543

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, but how you play the hand you’ve got hidden up your sleeve.

Just shared via Discord:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Going viral on TikTok:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Spotted on Telegram:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I’m going spiraling, do you need anything?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Shared recently on Twitch:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Witty pun about prime ministers and divisibility, humorous and clever text.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, that prime minister sure has a mathematically sound job title! 🤓🧮 Looks like they're really in a league of their own, not to be split up or divided by any ministerial factions! 🤣🎩 #MinisterialMath #UniqueMinister

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Threads this month:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

19 shares on Slack this month:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

47 shares on WeChat this month:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

70 shares on Slack this month:

There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

96 shares on Reddit this month:

I can’t believe Halloween was 10 pounds ago.

31 shares on Slack this month:

The marriage rate has been trending downward. Choreographed wedding dances may be the reason.

90 shares on Threads this month:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

47 shares on Facebook this month:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If my neighbors keep fighting like this, I might need to cancel some of my streaming services.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I put the mess in domestic.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Weekends are getting shorter and shorter. You blink and it’s already Sunday 5pm.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a toddler getting his nose wiped.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, my date did get up and leave during dinner, but luckily she hadn’t finished her food.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,673

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

When your parents are on a call and they ask for a pen, man, that pressure is real.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I would like to opt out of WW3, por favor.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Might quit my job to focus on actually putting away my laundry.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need a new identity and a passport.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A relationship is like a shark, it looks better on TV.

Trending via TikTok:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Spotted on WeChat:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Going viral on Facebook:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Making waves on Twitch:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

There are real people living amongst us who pay for Discord Nitro.

Going viral on Pinterest:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

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