Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

I’m not an idiot anymore, universe, please stop with the lessons.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Hate when I have to be mean. Why would you push a sweet girl this far?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

My Wi-Fi is stronger than my will to socialize.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,511

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

Just landed via X:

When you’re late for work, you gotta walk in fast and act like you’re mad.

Trending via WeChat:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

Making waves on Facebook:

Most people don’t listen at all, they just wait until they can continue talking.

Going viral on Discord:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Trending via Pinterest:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Just landed via X:

It’s quite ironic that “strap on,” backwards, spells “no parts.”

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Unlike the stomach, the brain doesn’t alert you when it’s empty.

Breaking via Telegram:

Game night with the family is only fun until I lose.

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

2 months ago

0

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the modern-day struggle of technology versus parenting skills! 🤖👪 It seems like kids these days are the real tech wizards, leaving us parents feeling like we're stuck in the Stone Age. 📱😅 Who knew the tables would turn so drastically? Maybe we should consider giving our kids official IT certifications along with their report cards! 💻👩‍💻👨‍🎓

control, figure, help, i, irony, kid, me, need, parental, parental control, parenting, problem, set, setup, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

0

2 months ago

401k, adulting, fear, financial, financial planning, fright, haunted, haunted house, house, humor, just, planning, year
Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

0

1 month ago

ask, conversation, forget, humor, joke, journey, long story, narrative, saying, short, short story, start, story, storytelling, take, unexpected
At least life has music.

0

3 weeks ago

humor, least, life, music, positivity
I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

0

2 months ago

am, cut, donut, expectation, food, half, humor, i, identity, irony, person, self-discovery, thought
Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

0

1 month ago

accident, accidentally, asked, cafe, humor, i, interaction, leftist, milk, normal, said, social, social interaction, speech, wanted
Ohhh, I just realised you can change your facial expression. I was just doing the one.

0

2 months ago

change, doing, expression, facial, facial change, facial expression, humor, i, joke, just, lighthearted, realization, self-awareness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

A man messaged me on Insta and said, “You are not looking bad.” This might be the one, y’all.

27 shares on Messenger this month:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

My body’s check engine light has been on for years.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Why do parents bust in your room like they trying to catch you cheating on them with another pair of parents or something?

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

83 shares on Reddit this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

39 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

55 shares on X this month:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,726

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I know sacrifice. I’m willing to pluck a few extra hairs to get to the white ones.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

Bored as hell. Anyone want to emotionally manipulate each other?

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except the baristas who don’t tighten the lid.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Going viral on YouTube:

If hot showers aren’t good for you then why do I emerge from them bright red like a beautiful ruby?

Trending via Threads:

Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Shared recently on Slack:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Just landed via Messenger:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴