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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I wanna become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Gordon Ramsay is making us dinner. It’s a four curse meal.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I’m 45% coffee, 40% wine and 6% cheese.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

It’s funny how drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 7 beers and 5 shots in two hours go down like a fat kid on a seesaw.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,252

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Trending via Threads:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Making waves on Threads:

Just give your kids the iPad. They’re the ones who’ll be fighting cyborgs in the future.

Just shared via Reddit:

I gotta ask, what part of ‘I don’t eat sugar’ don’t I understand?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Making waves on Reddit:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Breaking via Twitch:

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

Making waves on Telegram:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Shared recently on Slack:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

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The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.
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Commentary:
Looks like those three people have secured their spots in the will by diligently hitting that "like" button! Who knew that social media engagement could have such high stakes? Better keep an eye on those notifications, you never know when your inheritance might be at stake!

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

85 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love the smell of freshly brewed delusions in the morning.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t underestimate your white tee and denim jeans.

82 shares on Facebook this month:

The guy in the stall beside doesn’t know he can shut off his camera shutter.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t need a recipe for disaster. I usually just eyeball it.

88 shares on X this month:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

65 shares on X this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, I’m a professor in a movie. I only reach the main point of my lecture right as class is ending. Then I yell at students about the reading / homework as they leave.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The only exercise I’ve done this month is running… out of money!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

People without a sense of humor should not be allowed to decide what people with a sense of humor are allowed to laugh at.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“Life is a marathon, not a sprint.” Cool, I dislike both of those things.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,274

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

I don’t have a favourite person, but I do have a favourite cheese.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Referring to my boss’s wife as my boss-in-law.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

My brain is 80% song lyrics.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Spotted on Reddit:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Making waves on Facebook:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m not saying I’m old. I’m just saying that my dinner time and bedtime are getting dangerously close to each other.

Going viral on WeChat:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

Going viral on Instagram:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

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