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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Heelys don’t have brakes because my swag rides forever.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Listen, before I had my coffee I didn’t know how awesome I was going to be today either.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Y’all made fun of Plankton on Spongebob for dating a computer, and look at y’all now.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Is it just me, or were we promised a totally different frog-to-prince ratio?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,598

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Snapchat:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Shared recently on Instagram:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Breaking via Discord:

At this point, the only thing that can heal me is memory loss.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The masculine urge to make a woman sit through a YouTube video that she will not find funny or entertaining.

Spotted on WeChat:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Making waves on Facebook:

Fifty shades of I miss you.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Spotted on Instagram:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

2 months ago

0

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

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Commentary:
"Living alone is like being in a never-ending game of 'Dish Duty Roulette' – it's always your turn to face the soapy battle! 🍽️🌀 But hey, at least you can rock out to your favorite tunes and dance like nobody's watching while you tackle those dishes! 💃🎶 #SoloLivingStruggles"

alone, chores, dishes, domestic, domestic life, humor, life, living, living alone, responsibility, trouble, turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

0

2 months ago

always, breakup, comedy, emotional, houston, humor, i, independence, just, love, loved, mean, point, relationships, sarcasm, whitney, Whitney Houston
You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

0

2 months ago

always, both, kids, know, scissors, where
Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, aging humor, comedy, culture, gone, humor, i, middle, middle age, movie, movie quote, orthopedist, pop, pop culture, something, tell, watermelon, welcome
Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

0

2 months ago

art, humor, laziness, procrastination, relaxation, rest, tired
There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

0

2 months ago

break, day, hang, humor, Monday, pause, second, should, Sunday, time, weekend
If you breakdance you buy dance.

0

2 months ago

breakdance, buy, dance, humor, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

10 shares on Facebook this month:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was in the car waiting for my song to end.

81 shares on Slack this month:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

35 shares on Discord this month:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

93 shares on Threads this month:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

78 shares on Threads this month:

This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

16 shares on Telegram this month:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t ring my doorbell unless you’re accompanied by a camera crew and holding balloons and a big check.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Being a people pleaser that no one is pleased with is the main cause of my anxiety.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI take a 30-minute poop right after clocking in.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,535

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

He said he thinks I’m resilient to everything, so I thanked him, but on second thought, he may have low key called me a cockroach.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

The term “bisexual” is so confusing. Are you sexual twice a week or once every other week?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

There aren’t enough hours in the day for me to do absolutely nothing.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Going bananas on Messenger:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Going viral on WeChat:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Just shared via TikTok:

That uncle who kept his distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense to you as you get older.

Live now on Telegram:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Just landed via X:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Trending via Reddit:

How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

When I’m feeling old, I like to visit my parents so they can push all my buttons until I lose my shit and just like that, I’m 16 again.

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