The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Just saw the fattest bird. This guy must get up early as hell.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

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Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

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Your skull is the only thing preventing your brain from floating away, unburdened as it is by any meaningful thought to anchor it.

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Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

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I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

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I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

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If I say “with all due respect,” nothing respectful is about to come out of my mouth.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.