Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.
  • Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.
  • Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.
  • If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.
  • Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.
  • Don’t blame the holidays, you were already overweight in August.