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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself, “Wow, this changes everything.”

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Do mens sneezes get louder and louder as they age until they explode?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Oh, sorry about bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to slam my head into the walls anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

If I’m too quiet you can rest assured I’m in the process of planning my sweet escape or your equally sweet demise.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

My boss said he likes how I remain so calm under pressure. Can’t tell him it’s because I don’t give a shit.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I also want them to get lice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

38 minutes ago

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Going viral on X:

Mario Kart turned out to be the best training for winter driving.

Just landed via Messenger:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Live now on Facebook:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Trending via Facebook:

Last night the Internet stopped working so I spent a few hours with my family. They seem like good people.

Seen just now on Slack:

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

Freshly posted on Threads:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Going viral on X:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

Live now on WeChat:

There’s going to be a full moon this Christmas! Because mixing family and alcohol together wasn’t enough…

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

6 months ago

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic parenting dilemma: dealing with the lovely assortment of other parents at school events and playdates. 👀👪 It's like a whole new level of social dynamics, complete with awkward conversations and questionable parenting advice. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ But hey, at least it's never a dull moment in the world of parenthood, right? 😅 #ParentingAdventures"

children, dynamics, having, humor, other children, parenting, parents, social, social dynamics, thing, worst, worst thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

828 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,990

Funny Quotes Topics

13,934

Funny Quotes Images

10,990

38 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Prophecy class has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

I prefer people who actually know what’s going on.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

At the grocery store, but forgot my wife’s list so I guess I’ll just follow this other guy around and get what he gets.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on X:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry it took so long to text you back; my social bandwidth was buffering.

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Just landed via Telegram:

Facebook is like a never-ending high school reunion.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Spent the day decorating the house for Christmas and my wife spent the day re-decorating the house for Christmas.

Shared recently on X:

All income is disposable if you’re brave enough.

Spotted on X:

Walking on egg shells? In this economy?

Reported on Snapchat:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Live now on Twitch:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

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