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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from has downloaded:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from has viewed:

Like shark attacks on humans, it’s actually extremely rare. The majority of antique, porcelain headed dolls aren’t interested in murdering people.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from has shared:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from has bookmarked:

Sorry to any bands who see me yawn during their show. It’s not you, it’s just past 10pm.

Someone from has bookmarked:

Bro, you’re fine. You just need an impossible sequence of events to play out in perfect order against all odds and you’ll be fine.

Someone from has shared:

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Someone from has bookmarked:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from has shared:

If two witches watched two watches, which witch would watch which watch? Each witch would watch which watch belonged to which witch’s wrist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2241 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,403

Funny Quotes Topics

15,108

Funny Quotes Images

12,403

Updated

1 hour ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Just landed via Reddit:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Just shared via Discord:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Shared recently on Threads:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Going viral on TikTok:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

6 months ago

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Commentary:
"Ah, the classic parenting dilemma: dealing with the lovely assortment of other parents at school events and playdates. 👀👪 It's like a whole new level of social dynamics, complete with awkward conversations and questionable parenting advice. 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ But hey, at least it's never a dull moment in the world of parenthood, right? 😅 #ParentingAdventures"