Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Therapy isn't cutting it, I need to throw my brain in the dishwasher for a spin cycle of clarity! 🧠🚿✨ Out with the dirty thoughts, in with the squeaky-clean ideas!"

brain, dishwasher, health, humor, i, mental, mental health, need, relief, run, stress, stress relief, therapy

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

2 months ago

crazy, friends, friendship, humor, i, me, people, train
Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

2 months ago

anyone, difficulty, frustration, humor, joke, know, life, sarcasm, self-deprecation, setting, stress
Next to nothing is a weird place.

2 months ago

humor, next, next to nothing, nothing, perspective, place, weird, weird place
Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

2 months ago

chores, education, give, humor, kids, life, life skills, parenting, procrastination, responsibility, sense, skills, teaching
I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

3 months ago

banter, character, character comparison, comparison, feel, game, humor, i, lover, Luigi, Mario, playful, playful banter, prowess, raw, relationship, sensual, sensual lover, video, video game
Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

5 days ago

adult, adult humor, decision, decision making, easy, hard, humor, making, masturbation, selection, video, video selection

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Life is too short. Tell his mom what he did to you.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

I love when the restaurant bathroom has different music playing than the restaurant. It’s like I’m going to Club Pee Pee.

80 shares on X this month:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

98 shares on Slack this month:

Telling my guitar to “stay tuned”.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

93 shares on WeChat this month:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

“Dating pool” is incredibly optimistic. More like dating drainage.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

At my age, I see no good reason to act my age.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My mind is like someone dumped the entire junk drawer on a trampoline.

Live now on Snapchat:

Some nights I stay up hella late just farting.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Making waves on Messenger:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Trending via Twitch:

I deserve a percentage of your pay if you ever stole any swag from me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Trending via Pinterest:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Spreading quickly via X:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to run my brain through the dishwasher.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You don’t have to be crazy to be friends with me. I also train people.

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨