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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

I want Wolverine claws. Not for violence or anything. I want them for easing my way through reality. Like opening an Amazon package.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

My desire to be informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

“You’re in her DMs, my faint presence sits in her Spotify Wrapped through the music I introduced her to. We’re not the same.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,503

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

Going bananas on Twitch:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Trending via Messenger:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Trending via Discord:

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Just landed via Instagram:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Going viral on Instagram:

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Spotted on Messenger:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Humorous quote imagining Amazon drivers as holiday visitations for adults' wish lists.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Move over, Santa! 🎅🏻 Who needs the North Pole when you've got Amazon Prime? 🎁🚚 Let's make some cyber wishes come true, one delivery at a time! 🛍️💬 #NewAgeSanta"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

75 shares on WeChat this month:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Your in his DMs, I’m on Etsy paying a witch to put a spell on him.

81 shares on X this month:

The best part of vacation with your extended family is talking shit about them on the trip home.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Why is it that your clothes only get caught on the door handle when you’re in a bad mood?

54 shares on Telegram this month:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

100 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s so cool when people who write for a living admit that they don’t read books or have thoughts.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

McDonald’s is finally promoting good health by making their food unaffordable.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media may have been a mistake.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry I bit your hand when you reached for my popcorn.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Are you getting your period?” God forbid I’m just evil.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I have read the room and decided to be illiterate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,755

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

You learn a lot about someone when you marry them. For example, I learned I should have married someone else.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Tested positive for needing a kiss.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

Just shared via YouTube:

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Trending via Discord:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Trending via Slack:

As soon as the sun comes back out, I want a beer. It’s science.

Shared recently on X:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

Just shared via Twitch:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Just landed via X:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Just shared via Twitch:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

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