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Commentary:
"Move over, Santa! 🎅🏻 Who needs the North Pole when you've got Amazon Prime? 🎁🚚 Let's make some cyber wishes come true, one delivery at a time! 🛍️💬 #NewAgeSanta"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

2 months ago

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I think God was high when he made me.

2 months ago

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I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

2 weeks ago

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Microdosing Christmas by being present.

2 months ago

being, Christmas, holiday, humor, microdosing, mindfulness, presence, present
Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

2 months ago

ask, asked, backfire, boss, communication, drunk, humor, i, should, wait, workplace, workplace humor
Tested positive for being single af

2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ghosted me, don’t come back. Maintain that energy, babe. Stay dead.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

Just remember, you don’t need a special reason to buy a cake.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

52 shares on Discord this month:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

83 shares on Threads this month:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes I delete a post because I remember I’m too old for it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Podcasts are like babies, they’re too easy to create and not everyone should have one.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I stopped writing “Feel free to reach out if you need anything else” at the end of my emails because please don’t do that.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

November is for turtlenecks and depression.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

I refuse to be bound by the social construct called “the calendar.” Merry Christmas, everyone.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Trending via TikTok:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

Going viral on Instagram:

Social media has given everyone a chance to be heard, and it was a gigantic mistake.

Seen just now on Threads:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Just shared via Reddit:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Just shared via Telegram:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Just shared via Slack:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There should be an Amazon driver at the Mall during the holidays so adults can sit on their lap and tell them what they want.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.

I think God was high when he made me.

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

Microdosing Christmas by being present.

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Tested positive for being single af

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨