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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has downloaded:

Why canโ€™t opportunity just come back later?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ด has shared:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ณ has downloaded:

The easiest way to bundle your home and auto insurance is to live in your car.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ณ has copied:

I no longer dislike Mondays, Iโ€™m mature nowโ€ฆ I dislike the whole week.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said โ€œless McDonaldโ€™sโ€, but Iโ€™m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

If I ever say โ€œwith all due respectโ€, please understand that there is none.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ซ has viewed:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡น has viewed:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,328

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I canโ€™t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sending your selfies to NASA because youโ€™re a star.

Going viral on Telegram:

We do it every night. Annoy each other.

Live now on Slack:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Whoever invented the โ€œskip introโ€ button really understood humans.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos โ€“ like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Going viral on Threads:

Meteorologist: Itโ€™s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Folding laundry is like packing to stay home.

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Witty text about creating a rest for the wicked, playful and humorous in tone.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"If they invented a rest for the wicked, would it come with devilishly comfortable cushions? ๐Ÿ˜ˆ๐Ÿ’ค #EvilNaps"

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Keep the laugh going ๐Ÿ˜‚

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Social Media Stars โญ

46 shares on Facebook this month:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

The amount of sleeping Iโ€™ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

Apparently, responding to a wedding invitation with “maybe next time” is wrong. I know that now.

15 shares on TikTok this month:

One day there will be condoms with Bluetooth that tell you whether you’re good in bed, how many calories you’ve burned and when the next train leaves.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

Coffee tastes so much better handed to me.

51 shares on YouTube this month:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from reading your book.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes ๐Ÿ’ฅ

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™ve disappointed better people.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

6 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Waiting for my wife to approve my new yearโ€™s resolution of making independent decisions.

24 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

15 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

11 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

21 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

17 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Iโ€™m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

23 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

You ever tried driving the speed limit and thought, โ€œThey canโ€™t be serious.โ€

5 folks are currently checking ๐Ÿ‘€

Yesterday, my boss asked me what I did for a living.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

calculatingโ€ฆ

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Violence is not the answer, unless youโ€™re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piรฑata.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡บ has shared:

Leggings: elegant for some, elephant for others.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ถ has shared:

December calories don’t count. That’s the law.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has shared:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has copied:

I purposely overcook my holiday turkeys so I don’t have to hear anyone at the table say, “moist.”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Did you guys know that you can actually do whatever you want all the time?

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldnโ€™t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Live now on YouTube:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Spotted on Messenger:

The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Donโ€™t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Making waves on Slack:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I donโ€™t wanna brag, but my posts are unpopular on all continents.

Trending via Twitch:

I canโ€™t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Just landed via TikTok:

Iโ€™ve decided to handle this like a mature adult, Iโ€™m telling your mom.

Live now on Discord:

This whole week could have been an email.

ยฉ 2026. All rights reserved.

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