Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

11:00 am – Anything is possible. 3:00 pm – But not today.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

515 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,108

Funny Quotes Topics

17,263

Funny Quotes Images

15,108

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,948

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Accidentally falling asleep on the couch is somehow always the best sleep.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Just shared via Instagram:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Just shared via Facebook:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Making waves on Messenger:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Going out on Friday night will always be better than going out on a Saturday night.

Spotted on TikTok:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Breaking via Twitch:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Just landed via Threads:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"If they invented a rest for the wicked, would it come with devilishly comfortable cushions? 😈💤 #EvilNaps"

humor, invention, irony, relaxation, rest, should, wicked

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

0

2 months ago

3, bad, craving, desire, dollars, humor, i, joke, know, million, money, pregnant, wealth
Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

0

1 month ago

car, collection, hobby, hot, Hot Wheels, humor, i, over, playful, toy, visit, wheels
Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

0

1 month ago

always, archaeology, bone, career, career joke, humor, joke, paleontologist, pick, pun, science, science humor, seems
The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, early, exhaustion, humor, late, nap, sleep, take, timing, too, worst
Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

0

1 month ago

awkward, cold, comedy, food, going, humor, indulgence, just, let, me, pizza, porn, temptation, tempting, watching
I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

0

1 month ago

again, bathroom, bathroom scale, battery, change, frustration, hate, honesty, humor, i, scale, telling, truth, weight

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

96 shares on TikTok this month:

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Being completely ignored on Twitter is associated with higher IQ.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

28 shares on YouTube this month:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

Being the introverted hopeless romantic with a high sex drive is a curse.

75 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pro tip: Avoid the news for a couple of days and have some fun.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

My car accidentally drove to a burger shop again. I hate when it does that.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: you either have a naked window neighbor or you are the naked window neighbor.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

The longest and most adventurous journeys begin with the words: “I know a shortcut.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

(to the boys in the yard) I hope you brought your own milkshake.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I am half agony, half hope.

Going bananas on Threads:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Pilots lowkey have an aura when they walk past you in the airport.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Some things are better left unsaid, unless you’re on X.

Trending via Snapchat:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Trending via Twitch:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Can I come over and look at your Hot Wheels collection?

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

Me, watching porn: they’re just going to let that pizza get cold?

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨