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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Eating the rest of the donuts will keep me from eating donuts tomorrow. My logic is flawless.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

The only Spanish I know is buenas noches, which means bonus nachos – like finding forgotten tortilla chips in your cargo shorts.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

If the shampoo and the conditioner finish at the same time, one of them faked it.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,672

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Spotted on Instagram:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Life is short. Tell people you love them, so they block you sooner.

Trending via Threads:

We used to burn CDs like we were running an underground record label.

Breaking via Telegram:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

Just shared via Reddit:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Seen just now on Slack:

Hate when anxiety gives me stomach problems. Like, baby, you are supposed to be a mental disorder, please stay in your line.

Making waves on Discord:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Going bananas on Instagram:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Spotted on Messenger:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

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This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.
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Commentary:
Ah, the classic winter dilemma – the evolution of enthusiasm to apathy towards shoveling snow ❄️. It's like a snowman of motivation slowly melting into a puddle of procrastination ⏳. Who needs a gym membership when you can just wait for nature's snowblower, right? 😅 #WinterBlues #ProcrastinationNation

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

No ChatGPT for me, thanks. I will be asking Liam Gallagher on Twitter.

68 shares on Threads this month:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

29 shares on X this month:

I’m only an introvert until I meet people worth extroverting with.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

There’s no denying that I have an effect on men. Mostly migraines, but an effect nonetheless.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

37 shares on Threads this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

36 shares on Slack this month:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

72 shares on Slack this month:

As it turns out, the only way to avoid work stress is not going.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The sexual tension between me and the person I’m not supposed to have any sexual tension with.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda worried about something. Don’t know what it is yet.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t understand how spending more money than I earn is irresponsible. I’m giving more than I take. I’m generous.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,817

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If you think about it, Santa really has the best job, he works one day a year and spends the rest of his time judging people.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Due to personal reasons, I won’t be dropping it like it’s hot anymore.

Shared recently on Threads:

Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.

Making waves on Threads:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Spotted on WeChat:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Just landed via Twitch:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

Shared recently on Instagram:

In a parallel universe, I go to bed early and wake up fresh and unstoppable.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Any house is an Airbnb if you’re quiet enough.

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