Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

I was at the cemetery when a little kid walked up to me and said she was afraid. I took her hand and told her that I used to be afraid too… when I was alive.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

I’m only here while I wait for that Nigerian prince to follow through on his end of the bargain.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

23 minutes ago

3,442

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

The meeting of the Anonymous Pessimists was canceled. It wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Just shared via Threads:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Going viral on Instagram:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Is this art or trash?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Going viral on Slack:

I’m already excited about who I’m going to think sucks first today.

Making waves on Telegram:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

6 months ago

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic winter dilemma – the evolution of enthusiasm to apathy towards shoveling snow ❄️. It's like a snowman of motivation slowly melting into a puddle of procrastination ⏳. Who needs a gym membership when you can just wait for nature's snowblower, right? 😅 #WinterBlues #ProcrastinationNation

enthusiasm, humor, melt, own, procrastination, seasonal, shoveling, snow, time, weather, where, winter, year

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

23 minutes ago

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

You didn’t get fired, your job “fumbled you”.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

My tombstone will read “Hey there, I’m using WhatsApp!”.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

A moth is just a butterfly with glasses and its hair up.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

My cat, who has no job and pays no rent, is apparently unhappy with his fancy new cat food, and I, for some reason, am currently on my way back to the store to rectify the matter.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Grocery shopping before Christmas is a nightmare. My milk expired while I was waiting in line.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Trending via Instagram:

Imagine surviving Covid 19 and then China releases Covid 19S Plus Pro.

Seen just now on Reddit:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Just shared via WeChat:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Are you stupid, sand? You could just lay here forever on this beautiful beach, but no, you have to try with all you’ve got, to get into my shoes.

Spotted on TikTok:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Trending via Reddit:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴