Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Googling symptoms until you cry.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s Friday. Rules don’t apply.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

“It’s bikini season,” I whisper, eating another bikini.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

They should invent friends whose schedules line up with yours.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.