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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Why can’t they use deep fake technology for good instead of evil? Like taking Zoom meetings for you, stuff like that.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Please be delicate with me, I’m built like a Nature Valley bar.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Live now on LinkedIn:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Live now on X:

Farting, but with eye contact.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Was complaining to my mom about my daughter’s attitude and she told me I should’ve named her payback.

Just shared via Telegram:

Sometimes, I feel like my brain is still running on Windows 95.

Going viral on YouTube:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

0
What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oh la la! 🥖💃 Let me break it down for you: Baguettes come in all shapes and sizes, regardless of their gender! 🙅‍♀️ It's all about that delicious crispy crust and chewy interior that makes anyone swoon! 😂 Next time you enjoy a baguette, just remember it's all about the bread love, not the gender roles! 💁‍♂️🥖

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Pronouncing hyperbole like guacamole.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Toxic girlfriend who goes through her boyfriend’s calculator app and asks why he’s doing the equations he’s doing.

16 shares on Instagram this month:

All my favorite activities involve a mattress.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

True friends don’t judge each other, they judge other people… together.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

My husband has entered the “fun socks” years.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

Therapists are like, “You don’t owe anyone anything. Except me. You owe me 250 dollars for this session.”

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t throw a relationship away just because you don’t agree with their choices, unless they wear Crocs, then it’s okay.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I usually decompose after work rather than decompress.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,462

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Just did several sets of some bullshit at the gym… no idea which muscles have been targeted.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

It’s almost time to put winter tires on the struggle bus.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My lotion bottle says to use it on areas of irritation, so I slathered it all over my coworker, Deborah.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Telegram:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Shared recently on Threads:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Trending via Telegram:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Trending via X:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Telling my boss I wasn’t drunk really backfired. I probably should have waited until he asked.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Going viral on X:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Just shared via Threads:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Just shared via Instagram:

I no longer dislike Mondays, I’m mature now… I dislike the whole week.

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