Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Marriage milestones: From exchanging vows to mastering the art of opening a beer 🍻 without waking up your spouse! Cheers to love, laughter, and stealthy skills! 😉 #MarriageGoals"

beer, bottle, couple, humor, learning, marriage, open, relationship, silence, skill

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

0

2 months ago

confidence, conversation, dating, DM, flirt, humor, man, media, real, social, social media, timeline
I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

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2 months ago

hair, humor, i, mouth, much, self-deprecation, volume, wish
When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

0

2 months ago

chocolate, cravings, eat, hear, humor, i, inner, inner struggle, inside, me, struggle, temptation, voices
First responders? You mean reply guys?

0

2 months ago

comedy, first responder, guy, guys, humor, interaction, mean, media, online, online interaction, reply, reply guy, responder, sarcasm, social, social media
Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

0

2 months ago

before, call, consider, humor, i, idiot, know, me, self-awareness
The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

0

2 months ago

appetite, conflict, destruction, disaster, food, humor, irony, me, recipe, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Facebook this month:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

83 shares on X this month:

At least life has music.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

I just agree with people so that they stop talking.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

My hobby is misidentifying dinosaurs so my daughter can correct me.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Taylor Swift’s most unrealistic lyric is “he’d never tell you, but he can play guitar”, because I’ve never met a man who can play guitar that isn’t gonna tell you about it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Making waves on Pinterest:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

Live now on Facebook:

Welcome to your 40’s: you’re not hungover, it’s just Tuesday.

Breaking via Twitch:

If alcohol was the one that was banned instead of weed, then a lot of people would have had memories of hungry, stoned fathers instead of angry, drunk ones.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

Just shared via TikTok:

Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.

Trending via YouTube:

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

Going viral on Telegram:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

I wish my hair had as much volume as my mouth.

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

First responders? You mean reply guys?

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨