Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Marriage milestones: From exchanging vows to mastering the art of opening a beer 🍻 without waking up your spouse! Cheers to love, laughter, and stealthy skills! 😉 #MarriageGoals"

beer, bottle, couple, humor, learning, marriage, open, relationship, silence, skill

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Source??? Pattern recognition.

0

3 months ago

analysis, data, data analysis, humor, logic, pattern, pattern recognition, questioning, recognition, science, skepticism, source
Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

0

2 months ago

actually, dark, dark humor, die, humor, i, irony, own, secret, show, skeleton, sucks
The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

0

2 months ago

conflict, day, desire, internal, internal conflict, just, laziness, motivation, nap, productive, productivity, rest, struggle, wanting
I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

0

2 months ago

back, bring, bring back, hold, hold your horse, horse, humor, me, nobody, nostalgia, stop
Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

0

2 months ago

benefits, connection, father, friends, getting, humor, internship, job, me, network, opportunity, relationship
I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

0

2 months ago

activity, attached, commitment, decision, fun, fun activity, going, humor, i, learn, music, no strings attached, play, something, strings, violin, wanted

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on X this month:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

76 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry I’m late. I was scraping the clearance tag off your Christmas present.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

29 shares on Telegram this month:

AI could never steal company time the way I do.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

My neighbor said he heard me having sex today but it was just me standing in front of my air conditioner.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

Calm down, engine light, if I can run on broken parts, so can you.

93 shares on X this month:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

96 shares on Discord this month:

Why are fish the only thing you can monger? Let me monger some other stuff.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Being held for questioning sounds more romantic than it is.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Jobs are so clingy. Why do you need to see me 40 hours a week?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Trending via Reddit:

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

Making waves on Slack:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Just landed via Twitch:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

Just shared via WeChat:

This cop is parked illegally behind me with his lights on. I’m going to say something.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Just landed via Threads:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Source??? Pattern recognition.

Kinda sucks that I actually own a skeleton but don’t get to show anyone until I die.

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

Friends with benefits but the benefits are you getting me an internship with your father’s network.

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨