Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.
  • I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.
  • Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?
  • Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.
  • Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?
  • That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.