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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I love when my brain cells kiss and I have an idea.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

The next time someone texts me “we need to talk,” I’ll reply, “Yes, we really need to talk,” so that I won’t be the only one stressing.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Every gift guide for men is like “A flannel flask to hold your knife flavored whiskey.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I love being a girly girl and going to sleep all moisturized, juicy, and soft. Lip balm on. Layering on scents just to beauty rest.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,411

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

Live now on WeChat:

Felony Vandalism is a beautiful name for a girl.

Breaking via Slack:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Just shared via Slack:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Driving to work, and I just reached down to touch my leg to make sure I have pants on.

Just landed via Reddit:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

Just landed via X:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

Just landed via X:

The most refreshing way to fight your personal demons is to make demonade.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Grape soda doesn’t taste at all like grapes, but it does taste like purple, and I don’t know how to explain that.

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

2 months ago

0

When I was a kid, I never expected the future to suck this much.

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Commentary:
"Ah, the naivety of youth! 🧒🏻 If only our past selves could see us now, drowning in responsibilities and adulting struggles. Welcome to the grand façade of adulthood, where bills are aplenty, and the future is as unpredictable as the weather forecast! ☀️🌧️ #AdultingIsHard"

disappointment, expectation, future, growing, growing up, humor, i, kid, much, never, reality, sarcasm, suck

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

0

2 months ago

biblical, humor, intention, loophole, marriage, married, never, premarital, relationship, sex
Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

0

2 months ago

celebration, Christmas, clutter, decor, holiday, house, humor, joy, meant, minimalist
How am I supposed to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count and sing the whole alphabet to see what letter comes next.

0

2 months ago

aid, alphabet, alphabet song, am, childhood, childhood habit, choice, choices, count, counting, decision, decision making, finger, finger counting, fingers, habit, i, learning, learning method, letter, life, life choice, making, memory, memory aid, method, next, sing, song, still, whole
Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

0

2 months ago

communication, humor, microplastic, sarcasm, superpower, Tupperware, wit
Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

0

4 months ago

affection, back, emotional, emotional well-being, good, health, likes, liking, mental, mental health, mutual, mutual affection, relationship, someone, well-being
My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

0

2 months ago

commit, commit crime, crime, DNA, everywhere, hair, humor, i, identity, leave, me, never, personal, personal trait, trait

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

64 shares on Telegram this month:

The world is such a beautiful place when you don’t think too hard about it or look around.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

They should invent a political party that doesn’t suck.

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

13 shares on Threads this month:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A Monday every week is excessive.

63 shares on Threads this month:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,433

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

It is so weird that every single one of us is going to die, and we are not nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Life hack: You don’t need white noise to sleep when you have constant ringing in your ears.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

If I don’t reply, assume I opened your message, nodded, and then got distracted.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

Breaking via Threads:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Trending via Threads:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

Going viral on Telegram:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Trending via Slack:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

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